gold medal

I’ve been enjoying the Olympic competitions in Rio. I’ve enjoyed the swimming, the gymnastics, the track and field and a whole lot of tennis since I’m a tennis nut.

Competitions always make me contemplate what it means to be a winner or a loser. In the grand scheme of things we all know that winning a gold medal doesn’t make a person moral or ethical or even a nice person. But we do stand in awe of the effort that went into being the best in the world at something. We take a passing glance at the silver medalist and hardly notice the bronze. They’re also-rans. We don’t remember their names. Sometimes they missed the gold by a fraction of a point, but, still, they didn’t stand highest on the podium. We’re fickle like that.

All the years I worked with young children I taught them it was okay to make mistakes. I told them they would never learn anything new or difficult if they weren’t willing to try and fail a few times along the way. Never mind that I struggled with that concept myself as a student and still tend to need the A, just because. I know it’s me caving to an exterior reward that means virtually nothing to my eternal existence. But if I can get the A, I’ll do it.

What about the blissful ones who really don’t care about external rewards? Those who create music or art or beautiful words with seldom a thought for what others think? I know people like that and I admire them. They create for the sheer pleasure of doing so. They march to a different drummer and measure by a measuring rod in their own minds. They aren’t geared to modify what they create to please others. The road can be bumpy for these true artists, but they’re the honest ones.

If given the choice between being the gold medal winner or an also-ran, which do we choose? Well, duh. We want to win. But most of life isn’t that clear-cut. If we’re trying to learn something new, we have to make mistakes. And even if we accomplish and learn we most likely will never achieve at anything near an Olympic level. So what do we teach the kids about winning and losing?

Here are my thoughts. I value:

  • Hard work that leads to great achievement.
  • Hard work that leads to a personal goal.
  • Talent.
  • Talent used for the good of others.
  • Those who did their very best, no matter how they “scored.”
  • Those willing to try even though they may fail.
  • Those who know how to lose gracefully.
  • True artists who create beauty because it naturally flows out of them.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on teaching children about winners and losers.